A Psychotic Genius's Rambling
Anyhoo, these days have been the weirdest days of my life- at their worst and at their best. On this "journey" of mine, I find myself adapting to this country...I guess if it involves staying home, watching TV and Dexter online (I'll get to him later). As it is, it's too cold to go anywhere, or too far, and all our plans of going anywhere (fun, spiritual or adventurous) have gone down the drain and taken my excitement with them. But all this compared to not wanting to have anything to do with my sisters (who i used to idolize), is nothing. Did i tell you guys I have 3 older sisters? Well, let's just say I can't believe we're related. I mean I've always thought our family was special. But I've realized their as cold, selfish, and small as the rest of the inconsequential human beings in the world. This may sound harsh. But unfortunately, this is the way I feel. Yes, about feelings. Though I feel this disgust towards them- I can't seem to dettach myself from them, let alone ignore. But hopefully that will change, because as everyone knows you can only change yourself, not anybody else, so frankly I don't expect nor take heed of any changes they might make. And no, I will not tell you what the problem is, that's none of your business! I'm just unloading here aight, take what you can get!
But it's aight, their not such a big deal-life moves on! Now, about moving on, the good thing is that we're launching our website soon- and I will only tell my VIP audience about it, when I have a link to share! Building your interest? I know, that's the point. :p Oh one more, teaser- you will be blown away, when you arrive at our
humble cyber abode! I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know what's funny is that I started writing this post with a different topic in mind- and look where it went- first thing that comes up are my sisters...hmmm (commitment and insecurity issues...as Freud would say!) Though I swear, anything they do wrong (my sisters- ya, we're back to them) they blame it upon insecurity issues brought upon by our asshole of a father (That's a whole other issue!). Look at me judging them, if one had to analyze my life..they would say I was bipolar, hanging on to my mothers strings, and lacked the gusto or the courage for everyday survival.
A more pleasant topic now, few days ago we went to my mother's cousin's house (I've never seen them before and for this was only the second time ma had ever met them as well). It was in a small town. Ma of course went for sentimental reasons, but work (books which were everywhere, even in that small village religion and education is prominent) as well. It was quite an odd experience I met my 2 cousin brothers who appeared out of the blue, as I wasn't even aware of their existence. The family was, pleasant, simple, educated, fun even. It's funny how though losing my cousins, (Not in contact any longer- another long ass story!) I gained 2 new ones. I don't think they will be visiting us, but it's ok, I'll have this experience with me and I'll always remember going to Bhagwati Niwaas (that's where they live a small section left which wasn't sold of my great grandmother's house which she built herself.) Perhaps one day we'll get it back. I know you guys would have liked pictures (yeah right!), but let's just say the oppurtunity or the inkling didn't arise. Another thing I took away from the experience was that, while we were there, their cousin literally just walked in, while I never see mine..it was quite funny..but thats what happens when you grow up far from your relatives (which I feel only we've done, as opposed to the rest of the world).
Dexter My Nectar
Now to the best topic of all, Dexter. You all really have to watch this show!! Even Bhagwati's crazy about him (not as much as me as you can see) You know how most of the time when 
you like a character or an actor it's mostly for their looks (well that's the way I am ok!) But with Dexter it's different, I mean he's not conventionally hot...but dayamn is he hot! Way more than that I guess attraction is in knowing him so well. And that just intesifies, unlike for other characters:
- Michael Scofield, Prison Break- hot guy, loved that he loved his brother soo much, was really sweet,but that was it.
- Clark Kent, Smallville- watched 4 seasons of that crap before realizing the show sucked! But anyway, watched it primarily and only because of how freaking hot he was even though he made me hate clark so much-male chauvenistic obsessed with Lana, egotistical pig!
BUT with dexter its different, I feel for him. I really feel bad that he had to kill his brother (the only one who was his own and understood him) I feel bad that he can't connect with anyone, though i admire his dettachment at the same time. I don't want him to get caught-
I feel good when he feels good (even when he relieves himself by killing someone) But the real irony is that if he were there in real life- I could never truly know him - the very reason I'm so infatuated with him. I know this all is very very pathetic trust me I know but the post is called rambling so let me do so slaves! The 2nd season (as I'm desperately trying to watch with my slow internet and lack of good sites for vdos knowledge) is very different from the 1st season. Here we see him evolve, and more human even. He's vulnerable after the hole he had inside has grown bigger after finding the truth about his brother and his past. Man, with Dexter- menacing, sweet, weak , strong, sarcastic, cold, comforting - he's yum either way! Man why couldn't I be Lila- have in my wits! Though I do like his aggressive calculated moves with Rita- somehow with Lila he's way more raw, open, fun, and an easy prey MUAHAHAHA :D Sadly this new love life is affecting his serial killing which sucks!!!!!!!!! Well I'm only at the middle of season 2 - and when I finish I shall share my thoughts again.
I guess I had to bring him up as he is a very big part of this journey=we watch him everyday and he's quite soothing really...I guess growing his hair blonde for the show made it a lot easier to fall for him! I can't wait to watch the next episode!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well that's it for me guys, the journey, the magick, the twister continues as far as anything constructive or stable like studying don't ask!!!!!!!!!!!! Speaking of, I'm going to miss Rahu, I mean he's the reason all this is happening to me! This rollercoaster ride has been a momentous memorable period.
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